You left me

You left me again, but this time I’m not begging you to stay. I don’t even want you stay. I want you to go far away because it’s not me, it’s you.I won’t say you made me stronger because you didn’t. You broke me far beyond my words can express. You broke me. I’m not strong anymore.

Maybe I was strong when I met you but now I just exist. And I want to keep existing because we both know you would be the end of me. I am not strong neither am I weak. I  just want to be.

I saw your message on WhatsApp and countles calls from you. It’s surprising to see how much you think care about me. I swear I still can’t get over the shock of you thinking you are the best I would ever have or get.

Are you saying you are the best man alive or that all men are shitty and you are the least shitty? I get that you think you are everything but have you met yourself? Can you even stand yourself?

I promised myself I would write you this text as calmly as possible. I won’t use as much fowl languages as you. You know, before now I used to see you as this enviable figure. I thought I was lucky to have you. A seemingly smart, funny, handsome and rich guy.

I thought you were the full package but now I know better. All of those things are what you want the world to think you are. But deep down, you know you are funny because you are running away from your sadness.

You are not smart, that I’m sure of. Yes you are handsome and rich but it doesn’t matter if all you would do is make me sad everyday.

News flash, I know you slept with Alice. I know you slept with my best friend. I am not angry at you. I’m only mad at Alice and I pity you. Maybe not so much. I would tell her my pains and how much you hurt me and she would act like she cared. Like I matter.

I’m sitting beside her right now. She’s talking about how you are bad for me. She’s telling me to walk away from you. In her words, “You love someone else”

If you love her, why do you want me back? Why are you blaming me for everything that went wrong?How is it my fault that you keep cheating on me and zoning off? When you are back, you blame me for not checking up on you.

If there’s anything I’m glad about, it is refusing to have sex with you three months ago. Because I’m not sure you know Alice has HIV. You probably don’t because I have heard the way you speak about people with it. That’s why she probably didn’t tell you. If you know, then you must really love her enough to sleep with her without protection. And I know that because I read her chat with you.

Anyways it would be good if you get tested. P.s I’m not a slut or a bitch. I’m not a gold digger either. I didn’t get with you for your money. I actually loved you. You will never find anyone like me and I’m not bragging. I have been stupidly in love with you for over 2 years and now, I’m done.

Yes Gbenga, I’m breaking up with you.  You probably didn’t notice but I left your “expensive” engagement ring in your locker two months ago. I’m tired of you bragging about how much you have spent on me or how you picked me up from the gutter.

I’m done with all of your toxicity. I’m done with begging you for the mistakes you made. It’s over okay. Tell Alice today is the last day she would ever see me. Because I’m done with her too. I don’t want to bring it up because I don’t want to do something I would regret. You are perfect for each other.I’m moving on man. Get a therapist to fix you.

I’m blocking you after sending this message. I hope you find peace in your wealth and all of your many girlfriends. I wish you and Alice a perfect relationship or something that looks like

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Hey hey it's Kita. Thanks for stopping by! I am a nineteen year old lifestyle blogger and I currently  Soil science in OAU. I love writing and sharing important and helpful information.

On my blog, you would find tips, stories, poems, interviews, rants, reviews and my journal.

Find out more about me here

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