Hey hey guys! It’s been almost two months since I last wrote anything on this space. Partly because this world is a weird stressful place to be in.
I have had too many things on my mind that I couldn’t decide on what to write about. I guess it happens to everyone.
P.s I’m trying to ignore everything going on in Nigeria right now for the sake of my mental health. I would certainly talk about it later but definitely not now or anytime soon because the last few days have been devastating.
Instead I would be talking about something that happens to almost everyone.
Yeah, people making jokes others that is not so funny. I bet everyone has gone through this before. It could be parents, friends, classmates anyone but it’s common.
It’s not just about the jokes, it is the fact that this jokes are designed to make you feel less comfortable in your skin or as your self.
Imagine making jest of a person that stutters. Making silly jokes about how they pronounce certain words. The thing is, all the attention is usually on the joke and not on the one who is being joked about.
Tell me, who in the world likes to be made fun of? When you laugh at the girl who stutters, she loses confidence in herself. Those not so funny joke are a form of emotional abuse.
Everyone talks about physical abuse all the time, it’s common but it is nearly not as common as this other life threatening abuse that not only bruises people’s egos but also hurts them.
I remember being a victim of this myself and I taught myself to not cower or pretend that the ridiculous jokes they make about me is funny. People would laugh cause I’m skinny and they made me want to get fat. I later realized that I had always wanted this stature. It’s not as if the fat people have it any better than the slim ones. People would make fun of others regardless of how they look.
Never change the way you look because of other people. If you must, let it be because you need to or because you want to.
They laugh at the short people for being too short and they encourage them to wear more heels.
Some people are mocked for being too tall and they ask all sort of ridiculous questions about their heights.
They laugh at the dark people for being too dark and at the fat for being the way that they are.
This ‘they’ I talk about are not strangers, they are people that are close to us. They sort of think that it is okay to make such crude jokes about others and it mostly comes from a place of their own insecurities.
It’s not okay to people project their insecurities on you.
If there’s anything I have learnt so far, it is that you should never put yourself in a position where you would hurt while others laugh at you.
A lot of people have ended up falling into depression, hurting themselves or even committing suicide because of the funny but not so funny things other people had to say about them.
Someone once shared a story of his old classmates who they often made jest of because he had a big head. After all the jokes, no one knew that he would hit his head on the walls of his room everyday because of the mockery. He ended up dying from a fracture to his skull.
Be careful about the things you say to other people, you never can tell how much it hurts them. Be considerate!
There are so many examples of people who had died because they were being made fun of. Do not let anyone push you down that road of despair and depression. You also don’t want to be the one pushing others to a point where they feel alone.
For the sake of your mental health, when people say things that hurt you under the guise of sarcasm, point it out. Be straight up! Tell them it’s highly unacceptable.
“Do not laugh at my weight or height or dress sense because it is totally non of your business.”
Love yourself and one way to do that is to make sure you are not letting people tell bad jokes about you.
One good way to do keep your mental health in check is to ask yourself questions after having conversations with people.
How did they make me feel?
Do I feel more energized or drained after spending time with them?
Having people that make insensitive jokes about you can hurt your self esteem in a long run.
If you find yourself in that kind of situation or around those kind of people, my advise is that you address the situation and tell them the joke is making you uncomfortable.
You have to talk about the way the joke makes you feel even if it kills the vibez in the room.
If they do not learn or refrain from making jest of you, do yourself a favor and walk away. Relationship with people like that is not worth it. It is what I call a myopic relationship.
There is a huge difference between laughing at a joke and being the joke. Of care is not taken, they would make you see yourself as less of a human.
In summary, when you find yourself hanging out with people that are quick to turn your faults or flaws into bad jokes, do not laugh with them in a bid to look less stupid rather call them out.
Address the situation and state how they make you feel. If you notice there is no change in their attitude, walk away from the relationship or friendship.
You only live once, you shouldn’t be hanging around stupid people except you have nine lives. Your mental health is important.
I have no particular pattern of writing. I write I think and what I have seen. For more articles, make sure to subscribe to my blog.