Dealing with toxic people the right way- 10 tips
There is always that one person who leaves you feeling terrible after an interaction with them. Sometimes, this person can be a parent, a friend or neighbor but they have the ability to ruin your mood no matter how happy you are.
Toxic people are manipulative and have their way with painting people as bad or ugly. They create enemies for you and put you in situations where you always have to explain yourself to people about things you are not guilty for.They feed on negative energy and they take away your peace leaving you in constant chaos whenever you have to be around them.
The truth is toxic people are everywhere and there is no escaping from them. However,It is important to know how to properly relate and deal with them after seeing the signs that they are toxic and bad for your health.
I have also had toxic people in my life in the past. I must say that it was not easy but the steps I’m about to share is what I used to break free from them. The minute I was able to break free, life felt better. It did take time to heal but after the healing process, local woman was poison free and was ready to do better with life.
Dealing with toxic people
1) Be aware of how they make you feel:
The only way for you to be treated for a sickness is to first realize that you are sick and you need help. So also dealing with toxic people. Unless you realize that they are toxic and they make you emotionally sick then you can’t be treated.
You need to pay attention to the things they say to you, the way they act towards you in private or public and the way they see you. Be aware of how hurt or pained they make you feel. You don’t deserve to be in pain so you must be ready to change that. You also don’t deserve to be in pain constantly.
2) Stick with the truth, be mindful of what’s false:
Toxic people tend to play with your emotions. They always make you feel like you are doing something wrong even though they are the wrong doers. It is important for you to stick with the truth. No matter what they say or how they try to manipulate you, remember the truth and hold on to it. If you are not wrong, you are not wrong no matter the blame.
3) Do not argue with them:
Never argue with toxic people over who is right or wrong or what is true or false because they play the manipulation game well. They will never accept they are wrong and will make everyone see it that way. It’s pointless arguing with them instead state your side of the story calmly.
“I’m sorry if that’s how you see it. From my own point of view, this was what actually happened. Whatever I said is not up for arguments.”
They will try to make a fuss about it but you must say nothing. Saying nothing works better, one person can’t argue alone. You don’t need anyone to believe your truth for it to be true. If it’s not your fault, it’s not.
4) Do not pretend to be happy around them:
Don’t do that to yourself. Pretending to be happy gives them more power or control over you. If they make you feel sad, don’t try to hide it around mutual friends,partners at work or family. If you do the toxic person will try to win their sympathy and paint you even worse.
Let the cat out of the bag. Let them know what is going on so you can have access to the help you need. If you keep pretending, you will only continue suffering in silence.
5) Take away the object of control:
The object of control is whatever it is that gives them power over you. It could be money, false attention or what you think others will say.
Some toxic parents threaten their children with money. They say things like ” if you don’t study this course, I will not assist you financially.” Or “I will stop sending you money to feed if you don’t do what I want.” In this case, the object of control is money. If you are in this type of situation, silently work towards financial liberation. Take away the power they have over you.
If you are in a toxic relationship that has been on for years, the object of control could be what will people say. The toxic partner will keep reminding you that you cant leave because of what others will say about you. Remember that it doesn’t matter what other people say. All that matters is your sanity.
6) Stand up for yourself:
Unless you stand up for yourself, toxic people will never stop harming you. You need to let them know you know what they are doing and you won’t stand for it. It won’t be easy but you must gather up the courage.
If you have toxic parents or partners, let them know that you are sick of whatever it is they are doing to you and that it needs to stop.
Things may not change immediately but they will begin to see you in a different light. Toxic people hate confrontation.
7) Be physically absent:
Try to be unavailable. Whenever your toxic friends or partners try to get close with you through functions, tell them you are not around or you are busy.
The only power toxic people have over you is your attention and they will not hesitate to use it. You take away that power and they become toothless bull dogs. Do whatever you can to stay clear of them.
If it’s a friendship or relationship, it’s better to cut them off.
8)Limit the time you spend with them:
If the toxic people are people you can’t completely avoid, try to spend only a little time with them. Do not give them a chance to intrude into your private life or matter. Keep them at arm’s length and make sure your relationship with them is kept casual. Don’t forget they feed on your attention.
9) Set boundaries:
With toxic people you can’t completely avoid, you must set boundaries. Let them know those things which you won’t allow.
“If you want us to keep talking then you must not discuss anyone around me.”
“I do not like to be screamed at, if we must talk then you must talk to me with respect.”
“I am not your slave and I refuse to be treated as one.”
Just be very vocal about what you want in relationships. Do not let anyone push you around or take advantage of you.
If they can’t respect these boundaries then you must walk away.
10) You can love them but you can’t fix them:
Most people that stay in toxic relationships believe they can fix toxic people and stop them from being toxic. In my experience, toxic people need professional help and therapy. It’s not easy to fix them alone because they will drain you emotionally if care is not taken. It’s advisable to love them from a distance.
Move on with your life and be happy
Forget about the number of years or effort you invested into the relationship. Think about making your present and future better. Journey into self discovery. Enjoy the beauty of peace and beware of toxic people.
Relationships with toxic people can be draining and full of painful memories. It is important to break free and enjoy the peace that comes with forgoing terrible relationships.
Do the things you love.
Be with the people you love.
Never stop smiling.
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