13 signs you are dealing with a toxic person.
Toxic people are human like poisons, they can be slow with killing their victims and sometimes it can be very fast. This killing I talk about is not necessarily using a knife to stab a person or actually putting poison in their victim’s food. This killing can sometimes be physical but it mostly starts with emotional torture. It’s more like destroying a person’s emotion or feeling of self.
The worst part is that toxic people are everywhere. They can be parents, friends, relationship partners, neighbors,class mates and even work partners. The only way to totally escape the baggage that comes with toxic people is to be able to identify them and take precaution.
Chances are that you have met one or two toxic people in your life time. I have also had my own fair share with toxic people and I safely landed in the hands of depression. In fact, it made me suicidal. Which is part of what most victims of toxic people experience.
It is for this reason that it is very important to know the things they do or the warning signs so as not to fall prey to them and also to quickly keep them at arm’s length. Let’s talk about these signs.
13 signs you are dealing with a toxic person.
1) Blame game:
Toxic people never take responsibility for their actions. No matter how bad the situation toxic people put you in, they will never apologize. They will always find a way to make you guilty for all their offenses.
They would even blame you for whatever goes wrong in their lives. Say their work is not going well or something is wrong with their academics or family life, they will try to blame you for it. They even blame you for the problems they obviously caused in the relationship.
2) They act like victims
They play on your good nature by constantly saying or doing things to make you feel pity for them. They manipulate you into feeling sympathy for them and giving them attention.
At first, you might just be trying to help them deal with a bad event or a terrible breakup. Sooner or later you will realize that they are taking advantage of you and they always have a problem to deal with . So much that you never get a chance to talk about how you feel or how they make you feel.
If they hurt you with their words or actions, they will try to remind you that they only did so because they were once hurt or because they are hurting. They use their victim status as a tool to make things go their way or to exploit you emotionally and physically.
In relationships, they tend to paint you as the one who is hurting them making them look like the victims when in reality, they are the ones hurting you.
3)They never listen to you:
They can be very self centered. They want everything to always be about them. Even if they ask a question about your day, they won’t give you a chance to reply rather they will go on about their own day.
Instead of listening to what you have to say, they will be thinking of what they want to say. They will completely shift a conversation about you to them. Throughout a conversation, they only give you a chance to agree with them.
4) They insult you through humor:
They ridicule you in a way that seems funny. Most times they make you feel like a joke especially in gatherings. They talk about your weaknesses just to let others get a good laugh at the expense of your self esteem.
They can crack a not so funny joke about your bald head, your height, your achievements or even your weight. They do this because they are insecure and the only way they feel better about themselves is by making you feel bad.
5) They bend the truth and make you question your sanity:
A toxic person will go to any lengths to make you feel guilty or to have things go their way. They would lie about obvious things so much that you would question your sanity. They will tell people lies about you to the point where you will doubt who you are as a person.
With people like this, your life becomes an emotional rollercoaster.
6) They constantly Judge you:
You are never enough for a toxic person. They will criticize everything about you. They will complain about the way you eat, the way you sleep and even the way you stand. They will judge you for the things you did and didn’t do.
People like this constantly make you feel bad about yourself. They slowly steal your confidence and leave you feeling worthless over time.
7) They don’t care about you:
Toxic people only care about themselves. They can only feign care and attention to get you to do their bidding. They will manipulate you to thinking they care about you so that you can shower them with more love and attention.
They will never support you in your worst times but they will expect you to support them when they are down.
8) They make mountains out of mole hills:
They are always ready to start a fight with you out of nothing. They will make a fuss about little issues that can be fixed easily or be settled amicably. They will turn little issues to a reason for malice and they will ignore you until you apologise to them. Sometimes they won’t tell you your offense, they will tell everyother person and create enemies for you.
They often use words like “you never” or “you always” even if you only made the mistake once.
9) They constantly ghost out on you:
They can disappear for a long time because they think you hurt them or someone else did. They go out of your life and come back however it suits them.
When they eventually come back, they would guilt trip you for not making enough effort to find them or for making them disappear on you.
10) They project their feelings on you:
Instead of owning their feelings, they behave as if the feelings are yours. They ask you questions like why are you angry with me or why are you hurting me when they are clearly the angry ones.
They use whatever reply you give against you and make you feel guilty for looking angry or sounding angry when it’s not even your fault.
11) They isolate you from everyone:
Toxic people manipulate you into staying away from family and most especially friends. They force you to choose between people and things important to you and them. They are always putting you in a position where you have to prove your loyalty to them.
12) They brag:
Toxic people tend to brag about their achievements and they belittle you as they do so. They make you feel like you are worthless.
They remind you that they are doing you a favor by remaining in a relationship with you. They will even say you will never find someone better than them.
13) They are manipulative:
They brainwash you into believing that they are right and you are wrong. They subconsciously make you believe that they love you and they are hurting you because that is how they show their own love.
They would even make you feel like you are not doing enough for the relationship when in reality, you are the one doing all the work to make the relationship stand.
Why you should totally avoid toxic people
The major power toxic people have over you is your attention. You remove that and they are left with nothing. The attention you give them is what they feed on. It is just like feeding a puppy. The more food you give it, they bigger it becomes. The more attention you give a toxic person, the more toxic they get.
Breaking free from toxic people may not always be easy because of their ability to manipulate people. They can even manipulate those around you to believe they are good and you are the bad one. But you should stay away from them regardless of who is supporting you to stay.
Staying in a toxic relationship can be detrimental to you. It’s better to run away as fast as you can. But then there are toxic people we can’t avoid. Which is why I have written an article on dealing with toxic people.
If you find out someone close to you does any or most of these things, it is important that you set boundaries or completely stay clear of them.
Don’t forget that you come first and other people come in later. You can only be in a relationship when you are alive. It is better to leave when you can still breathe.
If after reading this article you realize that you do most of these things then it is time for you to journey into self discovery and development.
I hope this article was helpful. Let me know your thoughts on this.
Don’t forget to share with people who might need to see this.